We’re all quite familiar with Xur, the traveling alien merchant in Destiny 2 who appears on Fridays and (hopefully) sells valuable goods throughout the weekend. However, Xur is nowhere to be found when he’s not selling weapons and gear. What’s that guy getting up to?
Question: What does Xur do from Tuesday to Friday?
Runs a donut shop on the side – TJ Denzer, wonders what a Xur donut tastes like
There’s a pretty specific vibe for people like Xur who only work half the week and have odd hours. Three days out of the week to fiddle however you want? Here’s my theory: Xur runs a personally owned donut shop. Very special. Only open for three days out of the week. And if you know how some of those mom and pop shops run, then maybe you know that he just makes a certain amount and when it’s gone, it’s gone, and he closes up for the day. You gotta be up there at like 7:59 a.m. when the shop opens if you’re gonna get yourself a dozen of those sweet Xur donuts. I hear he makes a ridiculously good pecan bearclaw
And yeah, Xur probably only takes Strange Coins and Motes of Light for his donuts, so you better do your grinding if you’re gonna get at these fresh-baked goods.
He’s a stay-at-home dad – Asif Khan, CEO/EIC/EIEIO/Accidentally Beat Destiny 1
Xur is a prominent arms dealer in Destiny 2, but did you know he has nine kids? What did you think it meant to be Agent of the Nine? He took the title super seriously, and was fruitful and multiplied in his free time.
Most Tuesdays-Fridays Xur can be found in a role very similar to Danny Tanner from Full House, managing carpools, making peanut butter sandwiches, dispensing fatherly life advice, and helping with school projects like science fair posters and book reports.
Xur has great deals on the weekends, but his nine kids are his pride and joy. No word on what happened to his significant others…
Drunk in The Last City – Bill Lavoy, Hunter Vanguard
I’ve long held the belief that my personal guardian, when not killing gods, is found in a dive bar deep within The Last City. The kind where you don’t have to bother ordering because the Fallen bartender knows your order. I assume that every time the Vanguard has an assignment for me they have to send someone to peel my face off the table and sober me up.
In the corner of the same bar, at a table all his own, is Xur. He never stops drinking but never gets drunk. Nobody dares sit with him. He pays for his drinks with Strange Coins, a currency that no other patrons are permitted to use. Every Friday an hour before he’s due in the Tower he gets up, walks out, and isn’t seen again until the following Tuesday about an hour after he leaves the Tower. That’s the mystery of Xur. He’s just chilling at a dive bar in The Last City.
Runs Dares of Eternity – Sam Chandler, His will is his own
I think that, regardless of where he is or what time of day it is, Xur finds a way to continue to run Dares of Eternity. Whether he’s hawking wares over the weekend or it’s the middle of the work week, he needs to be there, boots on the ground with his celestial steed, running the game show. Does he have a choice in the matter? Probably not. Afterall, his will is not his own.
Watching us closely – Donovan Erskine, Hunter
By the nature of his job, Xur sees and meets a lot of people. He’s not an alien of many words, so I like to imagine that he’s an observant people-watcher, maybe to a concerning degree. When he’s not selling wares, I think he’s hiding behind buildings, and watching us from vantage points. He sees our highs, our lows, and all the intimate details of our lives. Most importantly of all, he knows exactly what weapons and gear our inventories are lacking.
Catch up on TV – Steve Tyminski, Livestreams!
What does Xur do from Tuesday to Thursday? It doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from; when you have some free time, you try to catch up on television that you have missed. Xur is no different. Just like everyone else, when Xur doesn’t have work, he sits down and puts Netflix on to relax. I heard he’s catching up on Young Sheldon and Delicious in Dungeon. If he feels like changing it up, Xur will hop on YouTube or Twitch and find livestreamers he likes. It sounds like Xur loves The Stevetendo Show and Pop! Goes the Culture. Who knew Xur was such a big Shacknews fan? Xur spends his free time catching up on TV and that’s something I can respect!
That’s what we think Xur is doing when he’s not selling wares on the weekend. What say you? Sound off in the Chatty!
